Things happen for a reason. You have all heard this expression many times. You may agree or disagree. Most of the times I feel like I agree. If not in the moment, later on I will look back and “understand” a situation better and think it was better off that way.
As I have shared before, as part of my job I hear many life stories. Many of them filled with challenges and difficulties. But, at some level, they are all inspiring. Before I tell part of this story, I should remind readers that I work with a population that struggles with many factors such as poverty, substance abuse, trauma, etc. I will omit all details that are related to such factors.
There was a mother I worked with that shared her difficulty conceiving with me. For years she had tried having a baby, even underwent fertility treatment, with her (at the time) husband. In almost 20 years, it never happened. She went through many ups and downs, learned hard life lessons and after separating from her husband, with whom she had a very negative relationship, she found love when and where she least expected. Two people who had gone through many things and were ready to embrace love together and face life with a positive attitude. Suddenly, after her 40’s she found herself missing a period and thinking she was starting menopause. Much to her surprise, she was pregnant! Even now, 4 years later, she tells me this story with tears in her eyes. Tears of pure joy, of someone who thought that the one thing she had always wanted, she was not destined to have… and it finally happened. In that moment, I was embraced by that mother’s emotions while she was telling me her story. She was happy. She accepted that this was what was best for her. She had to wait. She had to go through all she went through in order to be able to make other choices. In order to be ready for this child. The room was filled with raw emotion and a lot of spirituality.
This weekend, I was watching the new HBO Documentary about Beyoncé and was also struck by the same feelings. I thought that the way she exposed her life, her challenges, and her success was very raw and genuine. Amongst the many things she talked about, she also shared the feelings of having gone through a miscarriage about 2 years ago. The themes and feelings she shared are easily related to by many others that have gone through that. However, the most interesting part, was how she reflected back on that time of her life. She was at a crossroad, debating with herself whether or not to continue the heavy load schedules she had with projects that didn’t mean as much to her or to instead pursue more of what she wanted and envisioned her career to be like. Also, choices about boundaries with her father, like keeping him as manager or having a clear role as family, were all in her mind. She made the choices that were right for her and she describes it like everything falling into place. So, after all those struggles with her career, with her family, with her miscarriage, life was on the right track. And then, she had Blue Ivy.
I understand it’s always easier to say that something bad happened for a reason, after later on you have achieved something positive that you were looking for. However, it is incredible how many times you hear stories like these. It is striking that when you follow your heart and make better choices for yourself, things fall into place. It makes me think that it’s not worth fighting against destiny. Sometimes we get caught up in the noise of our own minds that are trying so hard to do something, to achieve something… that we forget to listen to our heart.
Pay attention to what your heart is saying. Listen to the voice of your destiny. Think about what’s best for you. And good things, will follow!